


Not so straight (forward) after all

by mischiefunicorn



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Blow Jobs, Drabble, Drunken Kissing, Drunkenness, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Plot Twists, Post-Hogwarts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-10 04:54:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14730323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mischiefunicorn/pseuds/mischiefunicorn
Summary: After everything Harry liked to live his life straight forward.No thinking too much, no emotions. And it worked out well.Until it didn't.





	Not so straight (forward) after all

Not so straight (forward) after all

 

The music is loud and the bass drops hard beats across the dimly lit room. The nightclub pulsates with the hot bodies on the dancefloor and the loud chatter by the bar. It's 2.37 am and the speakers blasts the newest dance hit making all the dancers jump even higher. On the middle of the dancefloor a black haired young man dances with his friends half naked, shirt buttoned open all the way, exposing a muscular abdomen and perky pecks. And he is hammered. Harry Potter, the saviour of the wizarding world, has had a few too many whiskeys. And he does not liked to be called that anymore, thank you very much. He is Harry, plain Harry. A young bloke celebrating his workfriends birthday at a hip bar in muggle London. 

After all the dramatic events in his life, Harry prefers to live his life straight forward. At work, off work, with family and friends, going out, hooking up, sleep, eat, drink, repeat. Not necessarily in that order but that is pretty much all that there is to his life. No getting emotions involved in anything. Tricky bastards, those emotions. So he does it all to keep him occupied and busy and not thinking, or feeling, about the past. And it is working, and Harry is content. 

Harry dances wildly on the dancefloor, jumping up and down in a group of guys. He stills a bit to catch his breath and as he breathes in deeply a gorgeus blonde across the floor catches his eye. He stands there trying to cool off and watches the stunning blonde talk with her friends. The group of girls is not exactly dancing but not exactly just standing there. Harry watches them a few more minutes, nods to his friends who totally gets his gesture and winks back and then he saunters confidently over to her to pick her up and take her home. He makes his way to her and gets trough the crowd rather easy, the club is already emptier. Gosh the whisky and the rythmic thumping of the bass and the sight of the blonde are getting him a stiffy. 

She has a long, like really long, blonde hair in a careless ponytail, and a somewhat pointy face but is very beautiful even without much makeup. Like truly naturally gorgeus. Her piercing icy bluegreyish eyes take your focus off anything else and Harry can see him self just getting lost in those eyes. He doesn't pay attention to what she is wearing, the clothes does not matter anyway, he only notices it is not a dress.

Harry is confident in himself, he has quite the reputation among his friends, and he never leaves from the bar alone if it is not his own choice. He has tried them all, blond, brunett, redhaired, big tits, small tits, girly, femme fatale, librerian, adrogynous, tall, short, lean, curvy, fullfigured, petit, muscular. You name it. Harry is certainly not picky and with his looks and his charms it has never been difficult fo him to find a girl to take home or even date. But after school, the war and the relationship fiasko with Ginny, Harry decided to keep it more on the bring-them-home-side instead of dating-side in his books, and frankly, he is perfectly happy with that.

The blonde however is not intrested in Harrys, to be honest, quite poor hitting attempts. The fact that he is hammered is hurting his usually smooth pick-up game more than he would care to admit, but Harry does not give up, stubborn as he is, and after awhile the blonde just goes along and agrees to dance. Probably because at this point it is easier as he would not stop. The blonde almost feels bad for him, a pity you feel for small helpless animals.

The pair dance awhile and fair enough Harry gets his way, as the blonde is slowly but surely warming up for him. Soon they dance quite closely ad when the dj starts to wrap the evening up with playing way more slow songs they sway to the cheesy "I love you so much it hurts" music with Harrys hands on her hips and the blondes arms wrpped loosely around his neck. The scent of the long silken blonde hair is intoxicating and even if Harrys drunkeness wares off a bit he feels high on all the things the blonde is radiating. It is roughly 3.17 o'clock and Harry wants to go home and makes it very clear to the blonde he is not planning on going home alone. The blonde rolls her eyes and sighs but leaves with Harry anyway. Harry takes her by the hand and guides her to the doors and out on the street. The blondes life has been nothing but bad choices so what is this one small bad choice in a sea of them? And, honestly, the ravenhaired boy is quite handsome.

They get to Harrys place not far away and despite the lack of intrest earlier, the blonde decides to take advantage of the evening after all. Harry stumbles in trough his front door. He just walks in and the blond carefully steps over the jacket Harry took off and just dropped on the floor. He walks through the flat without bothering to show her around or even put on any lights as he makes his way towards the back of the flat where undoubtly the bedroom is. Harrys intention is no mystery to the blonde and she willingly follows him in to the dimly lit bedroom. Harry is quite passive as far as the communication goes, and only now realises how drunk he actually still is. After a quite awkward few minutes in the bedroom with shuffling and questioning looks back and forth, Harry has found his usual confidence and stripped himself naked in a more or less striptease kind of way and they end up on the bed kissing.

The kiss is actually breathtaking, as Harry soon discovers, the blondes lips are just gorgeously smooth and full and taste like summer, sweet and innocent. They are in a complete sync without even trying and the kiss deepens with a effortless flow neither have ever encountered before. Harry lies on his back on the bed and the blonde straddle his lap, leaning over him. Harry lets his hands roam over her, mostly up and down the back and squeezing that round perfect ass. Harry definetly is more of an ass guy that tit guy, and this is one spectacular ass! He notices how lean she is, her hips narrov and he can feel her ribs when he runs his hands up and down her sides. He grabs that round ass once more and after a small but loud enough moan he looks in the deepest iciest bluegrey eyes he has ever seen. And like he invisioned before, he gets lost in those breathtaking eyes. 

The rush of emotion the eyes awaken is surely heavenly, at least in his drunken stage. They do however remind him of someone from school, that git Malfoy who tormented him day after day, year after year. Malfoy riled Harry up in ways he probably would never understand, and most surely is not keen on finding out either. After finishing school he noticed he actually missed the weird game they used to play, poking eachother, riling eachother up and over the edge, then exploding in a weird cat-and-mouse like chase in the quidditch pitch. Harry has not heard of him after the trials of the war, and would like to get in touch but now after five years it seems like an impossibilty to just firecall and say hi. And why would he even contact him? To aplogize? To demand him to apologize? It does not matter, not anymore. So Harry leaves it be, and focuses on ploughing trough half the female population of muggle London. And he is making way very admiringly. 

Harrys thoughts are abruptly scattered to pieces as he plunges back to reality by an amazing feeling shooting up from his groin. The blonde has her lips around his hard on and is sucking gently while her tounge dances the chacha on his tip. Harry bucks up a bit and lets out an long moan. The blonde continues to suck and nibble and lick and with a steady beat, Harrys heart races faster, breath get shallower and moans more regular. Anything resembling a thought, a sane complete thought is impossible to form as Harry grabs the blond by the hair and tugs. First it is a bit rough but after a short hiss from the blonde Harry pulls her hair more gently. He tugs at the pace the blond sucks and it only gets faster and faster. They rock at the steady but increasingly faster pace futher and further. Until the moment Harry can't take it anymore and bucks up hard against the throat of the blonde letting a small cry escape from his lips. He holds the blondes head steadily, almost too roughly, while she swallows it all with an all too easy and careless manner, she has definetly done this before. Weirdly enough Harry feels just a tiny bit jealous by the thought of someone else bucking up against her throat, after looking in those sharp icy eyes, but the feeling is hastly tucked away as the blonde licks his cock clean and sucks at it gently as if rocking it to sleep while her long blond ponytail falls down on harrys stomach tickling the sensitive patch under his navel. 

Harry relaxes, lets go of her hair and lays back down on his back. He feels the softness of the cool sheets, the smooth fabric that clings to his damp, sweaty skin. He puts his hands behind his head and feels way too cocky after that amazingly fabulous blowjob. He steadies his heartbeat by breathing deeply, in and out, and after a while of just praising the lord and thanking her for a good job like a dog, he shuts his eyes for one moment and surprisingly, or not, falls asleep. Or blacks out, whatever term you wanna use, he was after all, hammered.

The blond wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, shakes her head and chuckles from where she is sitting on her knees between Harrys legs. Harry is already deeply in sleep, his chest heaving up and down as he breaths calmly. She isn't even fully undressed, she has on a pair of normal cotton knickers, hipster model, and her loose oversized t-shirt in a beautiful deep winered shade. She flings her ponytail behind her, clears her throat in a halfhearted attempt to wake up Harry but soon realises it is pointless. He is totally blacked out and she knows he won't wake up in many hours. She shrugs and thinks this is actually quite good, now she does not have to do the walk of shame so she gets up, gather her things, uses the bathroom and leaves without leaving anything behind, no notes or numbers, nothing. She does something she normally never would, tucks in Harry and looks at the satisfied, peacefully sleeping man for awhile. Just to make sure he is alive, she lies to herself. The night is chilly as the autumn closes in but the calm night air feels good against her a bit sore lips and tight jaw. She gets home and goes to bed herself. 

A few weeks passes by and Harry can't seem to shake the blond. Which is really unusual. He meets someone, takes her home, they do whatever they do and then they move on with their lives. Sometimes he sees them again in a nightclub or the park or something and they repeat the procedure. There is nothing to talk about, no feelings to confess, just a brief encounter in the sea of bodies seeking something no one is sure exists. Sometimes Harry thanks the universe for this, sometimes it feels empty to think that this is all that there is to life. No love, no companionship. Maybe he just hasn't met the right one. Maybe he let the right one slip through his fingers. Theese bastard emotions again. He stuffs them all deep somewhere and hopes they will stay there like the good boys they should be. Harry and his friends go out a few times, also to the same bar, but the blonde is nowhere to be seen. Harry doesn't take anyone else home. His friends are getting a bit worried about the longest time he had gone without at least one hook up, but Harry just shrugs and says he is not in the mood for mindless shagging. Alarming some might think.

Harry just can't stop thinking about the blonde and her eyes and that gorgeus long silky hair he just wants to tug and twirl and caress while drowing deeper and deeper in the icy bluish grey eyes. The unforgettable eyes start showing up in his dreams and after laying awake for the third night just fantasising about the blonde he knows he has to do something. He is way too deep in this mess and while he spent so much effort on repressing his feelings they grew stronger and harder to fight back or even manage.

Like a twist of faith or destiny he meets the blond the next weekend at the same bar. And suddenly he is all nervous about meeting her. Their eyes meet from across the room but at first neither do anything to pursue the other. The blonde isn't even sure Harry recognizes her, after all he was totally smashed, but Harry does recognize her. He just is too shy all of a sudden to walk up to her. Weird because Harry has usually been too cocky and confident for his own good and after drinking three more whiskeys in the span on half an hour he finds his usual courage and walks up to her.   
She is not quite as hard to get up to dance as the last time, but not quite throwing herself at Harry either. They dance a while close up and Harry is just more and more wined up about the blondes long hair and endless legs wrapped in a pair of tight black trousers, a loose deep green velvety shirt that seems to be too big for her and falls off one shoulder all the time. A slow song comes on and Harry drags the blonde closer as they start rocking from side to side at the pace of the music. Harry smells the blonds hair and gently grabs her ass. The deep grey eyes dart at him with a cold look but Harry is too drunk to comprehend the message the blonde tries to signal. He keeps his hands on her ass and just lets himself fall in the embrace of the icy eyes once more. Everything around them disappears as they sway on the dance floor, Harry hopelessly lost in those magnificent eyes. 

As a spray of the moment thing Harry draws his face nearer and nearer the blondes without breaking eyecontact, nearer and tilts his head slightly, and presses his lips against the blonds smooth, soft, sweet lips. At first the kiss is awkward and stiff, Harry is still staring into the grey eyes as in a trans, but then the blonde kisses back, just a little, parting those lips and inhaling Harry. It feels like she is inhaling his soul and as their kiss deepens Harry can't see or feel anything but the touch of those smooth soft lips on his. The kiss lasts for the rest of the song and they sway in their own little universe with nothing but crushing darkness around them. They brake apart and fall back to earth when the light in the club gets put on as a signal to get the hell out of there. They blink against the sharp light seeing nothing but stars and then the lights dim back to a more satisfying dimness. Its still lighter than before and Harry rises an eyebrow asking the blonde and she nods as they both seem to be lost for words.

They leave the club and once more get to Harrys apartment, Harry once again stumbling in and the blonde carefully stepping over the jacket Harry dropped on the floor. Harry notices, once again, how drunk he is as he stumbles in the semidark apartment. Intentions once again are no mystery but this time Harry leads the blonde to the bedroom by hand instead of just walking in expecting her to follow him like a puppy. He leads her to the bed, sitting her down on the side and once again stripping naked in front of her. Cocky confident surely is Harrys trademark. This time it's more teasing and more for her, to get her aroused for her own pleasure, not to get her hot for him, to satisfy his needs. There is so much more conversation between them now, Harry giving as much as taking. This alone suprises Harry but his carnal state is too distracting to focus on any thoughts or the reasons behind them.

The blonde looks so beautiful sitting on the side of the bed, pressing both hands down on her side, one shoulder beared by the loosly fitting shirt, which is an amazingly slytherin green colour harry notices, sending a flash of another blonde bolting for his eyes, a long blonde ponytail falling on the other shoulder wawing down over her chest. The head a bit tilted and those eyes, those cold blue grey eyes looking straight at him, gazing with such intense heat, that Harry feels like melting on the inside. 

Harrys outside on the other hand tell a different story, his body tensing up and flexing every muscle, his groin aching with the hard on he is sporting. The cool air around him makes him shiver and his cock twitch. The blonde looks at him with an even intenser gaze and Harry once again falls under a trans and quickly takes the few steps to the bed. He leans in and kisses the blond while she answers the kiss hungrily and with a more bold approach than before. Harry leans in even more and pushes the blond gently on her back as he climbs on top of her. They kiss and the blonde runs her soft hands with long fingers up and down Harrys sides making him shiver and his whole body getting goosebumps. 

Harry feels even more drunk now than 5 minutes before, the kiss sending him into extasy. Harry surely blacks out because when he moves again he finds himself under the blonde like the last time. She kisses him and then gently starts to make her way downwards on Harrys body. She kisses his cheek, chin, licks his ear and sucks on his neck. She nuzzels the crook off his neck breathing him in and Harry shivers again. This must be what falling in love feels like he thinks, shocking himself with the easiness the thought of that paticular emotion occurs. But he notices he can't deny it. She continues her quest down his body and sucks on one collarbone, licks the same spot and almost brutally sudden nibs his nipple. Harry bucks a little and moans louder than once the last time. 

The blonde slowly and surely make her way downwards until she is met by an twitching member craving attention. She chuckles and grins smugly as there is no question about how deeply attracted Harry is to her. She gently strokes it making Harry buck again and kisses his inner thigh before licking gently and utterly teasingly his balls. Harry is on cloud nine as the blonde continues to use her tounge and those gorgeus smooth lips on him, teasing, tasting and inhaling all of Harry. He can't belive how good she is, how fearless and confident she manouvers his body. She seems to really enjoy this which surprises Harry, the other girls have always been a bit awkward with their face in his crotch even if they have been otherwise confident in bed. But this blonde, this blonde is something else. Harry can't help but thinking about falling in love again, this time even more easily and almost like those damn emotions is not as bad as he thinks.

It does not take long this time either for Harry to reach his climax and he comes more violently this time. The blonde tries to swallow everything but as Harry bucks hard against her troat repeadetly she has to let him loose. The last twitching spurts shoot cum on Harrys stomach as he clenches the sheets with one hand and the hem of the blonds shirt with the other. The blonde smirks and looks at the charming ravenhead as he rides out the wawe of his orgasm more powerful than last time. The blonde surely knows her way around the cocks, she thinks with a cocky grin. 

When Harrys last strings of cum pulsates out of him the blond gets off the bed. Harry gaining his ability to speak and think for the matter, ask the blond where she is going sounding way more desperate than he intended.   
-Just getting you a towel, the blond shouts back from the bathroom, moments later appearing in the doorway with a fresh soft towel. The blond wipes Harrys stomach clean with the towel, drops it on the floor and licks his cock clean so nonchalantly that Harry blushes. 

He notices how tired, no exhausted, he is and as he starts to doze off he takes the blonde in his arms and whispers trough her silken hair "please, stay". She hesitates and shifts a bit in his arms but then he squeezes her gently against his body. She feels the lazy rythmich thumping of his heart against her back and decides to stay, against all her mental rules of hooking up. "Well fuck it" she thinks and decides to deal with the red flags in her mind tomorrow. Why not enjoy this serenity while she can. He feels the blonde relax in his arms and dozes off partly from the alchohol and partly from the most intense orgasm he has ever had. The last thing he remembers before deep slumber is the somewhat familiar sent on the blonde hair in his face.

Weirdly Harry dreams about the blonde annoying git from school. Malfoy. Draco fucking Malfoy. They play quidditch, but there is nothing else but them. No pitch, no players, no cheering crowd. Just him and the platin blonde. They fly side by side but there is nothing they're racing towards. There is no snitch to catch. Nothing but deep heavy darkness surrounding the two boys racing on their brooms. Just them, looking at each other, trying to read what they see in each others eyes. Weird tingling sensations running around in his body, weird strings of thoughts occuping his mind. He stare into the icy cold blue and grey piercing fierce eyes. And then he is hit with realisation.   
Harry inhales sharply, wakes abruptly up and gasps for air. His eyes fly open and he tries to sit up. Something is waying him down and he can't move. He panics for a split of a second, inhales trough his nose and then smelling the familiar scent of the blonde hair he relaxes a little. He feels a slight movement beside him and when he tightens his arms around the moving body feeling the warmth from it and the steady rythm of its breathing he relaxes thoroughlly and falls back to sleep without further thinking. This time the sleep is deep and dreamless.

Harry wakes up in the morning with a pounding headache. The sun creeps small rays into the room trough the curtains that are just about drawn. He squints to the blur he sees without his glasses. The bed besides him is empty and he feels stressed about it. It takes him awhile to realise why an empty bed is making him feel worried, the gorgeus blond was sleeping in his arms. And he actually liked it. The blond felt so good pressed against his body the summery fresh scent of her hair in his nose. It was soothing. Relaxing to have someone there. He realizes it was something he longed, a partner, a companion. A girlfriend. And the blonde would definetly be cut out for it. As gorgeus and long and graceful as she was. She would be the perfect trophy wife to show off to all his freinds. He liked the idea almost as much as he liked the idea of having her as his, his own partner, to always fall asleep next to. And to fuck, he can't deny that. The thought send a small electric buzz to his groin and it feels like his cock is also stretcing itself out this morning after. Well now he can't deny that it was falling in love that he felt. He can't deny he actually has emotions, even when he tried to bury them deep inside him. Somehow they still surfaced and ploughed him down like a oncoming train. He can hear the hooting of the Hoqwarts express in his mind and smiles to the thought of his real home. How he misses it all. 

A rustling from the kitchen and livingroom area interrupted his thoughts and he heaves himself up to rest on his arms. He grunts and grimases, his headache surely is nightmarish. Speaking of dreams, what the hell did Malfoy do in his dreams? After all this time, and why now? He recalled them flying in the dream and the stare of those eyes. Something twisted inside him when he realised why the eyes were so familiar and so present.

His sudden realization makes him inhale sharply and Harry trembles. The panic starts to rise in him but his thoughts are once again interrupted, this time by a small knock from the doorway. The blonde looks gorgeous in the green shirt, one shoulder bare and those mile long slender legs exposed, and that blonde silken hair let down, flowing freely around her shoulders.  
-I made us coffee, she says with a small blush lifting the cups up as to verify she really had made coffee. Harry just gapes looking at the blonde in the doorway. She looks down and hesitates, then smiles at Harry and makes her way to the bed. He shuffles over a little and sits up, grimacing again to the shooting string of pain trough his skull, making way for the blonde on the side of the bed. She sits down, hands the mug to him and they drink the coffee in silence. 

Harry falls in his thoughts again and the foremost lingers on the side of his counciousness without him letting it come to focus. Something makes Harry think it is best like that, some thoughts, and feelings, should not be dealt with. At all.  
Ever. But he still know he has to. A small cough besides him make him snap out of his thoughts.   
-You really dont recogize me do you? the blonde says with a suspicious glare after staring at Harry for a solid three minutes.   
"Erm, well..." Harry stutteres not sure what the blonde means. The thought he doesn't let into his conciousness taps on the side of his mind but he ignores it.  
"We... we met a few weeks ago..." Harry stutteres and tries to look down but the blonde hold him glued at her eyes.   
"We came.. here.." Harry continues and fall silent from the piercing glare the blond gives him. Surely not the answer she was looking for. She smacks her lips and lifts her chin abit still looking at Harry with a icy glare.  
"You have no idea do you" the blond says and lifts her chin a bit more. God she looks so superior with her head held high like that. So graceful, so proud. She truly is a goddess Harry keep thinking and sences the tapping at his mind again, still ingnoring it even if it bacomes harder by the second. Harry blushes hard but still can't brake their eyecontact. He just openes his mouth but not a single sound come further than his lips.

The blond sighs, chuckles and shakes her head looking down at her lap. She takes a long sip of her coffee, puts the mug down by the bed and stand up. She darts a piercing look at Harry who sits on the bed muffled with his mouth still open. She sighs and smirks and suddenly Harry goes all numb and brakes out sveating in nervousness. The tapping become louder in his mind and almost impossible to ignore. The blond turns her back at Harry and slowly takes off her shirt. Harrys jaw drops even lower if possible by the sight of an nearly naked body of a goddess. The blond throws her head a bit so her long silken hair swayes behind her and Harry gasps audibly. She turns her head and looks over her shoulder and shoot him with the most evil, sinister, plotting smirk he has ever seen on anybody.

Harrys mind races trough all the possibilities, is she a movie star, a model, oh god a co-worker? An aphiphany lingeres in Harrys most outercorner part of his mind but he somehow refuses it. The tapping rises to a roaring. His mind continues to search trough all the memories he can reach now, and nothing. The roar become deafing but he still refuses it.  
Harry panics. What should he do? He has obviously no idea...   
"Umm..." he stutteres, gaining his possibilty to make a sound. The blonde lets out a weird sound that Harry realises is an sinister chuckle. Then the blonde slowly turns around and Harry is afraid of everything. The blonde just smiles way too widly for anything to be good. Harrys head stops spinning at once and he is sure he falls into a coma at this instance. 

He blinks a few times and slowly but surely come back to his bedroom, sitting in his bed and looking at the blond nearly naked. Knickers is all she is wearing. Harry just stares and stares and then stares a bit more. Firstly he notices the flat chest. Like really flat. Not even small a-cups kind of flat. Just nipples flat. The blonde just stands there posing with her head held high and smiling a borderline crazy smile. Harry stares some more and suddenly notices small scars all over the blondes torso. No. It couldn't be, could it? Harry blinkes. The scars are still there. Then he rubs his eyes. Still there. A sudden wawe of memories wash over Harry. All the shouting in class, in the great hall, at the quidditch pitch. All the looking, staring at eachother and frowning, all the hate that bubbled and burnt inside both. But was it hate? Was it truly hate that burnt in them? Harry wasn't sure. The roaring at the side of his mind stops suddenly. It is all quiet in his head. Harry rememberes all the late nights following each other around the castle all the time spent looking for something to get riled up about. Then the memories he has tried so hard to forget come up. That sight of the broken blonde in the bathroom. The look they shared trough the mirror. Everything that wasn't said and done then. And everything that was. The horrible spell casting that cut wounds so deep they probably havent heald yet, maybe never will. All the dreams and possibilities shattered on the cold wet stone floor. The marks that now stare at him wickedly across his bedroom and grin at him. 

Harry cant help but stutter as the blonde slowly walks closer. He just sits there on the bed not able to think about anything other than the cold blue grey eyes piercing him and devouring his soul and revealing all his secrets. To the blonde and himself. His secrets smack him around his head and he feels so stupid. How could he have been so blind to all that layed before his eyes. Just under his nose. He tries to refuse everything but the barriers he built around his emotions come crumbling down and leave him open and vournable. He has nowhere to hide anymore. It is all there before him. The blonde halts by the side of the bed, and Harry notices something else. A bulge. In her knickers. God damit, his.   
-"Scared potter?" an all to familiar hissing voice says and Harry lifts his look from the suddenly intriguing crotch to the icy intensly piercing eyes. Harry can't belive his eyes or his ears or anything really. The gorgeous blonde he has been fantasising about is non other than Malfoy, Draco fucking Malfoy.

***

Harry feels like floating. Like he is weightless, formless. He looks at himself and sees quite literally nothing. His hands and his legs are just an aura, a light, a vibration. Somewhere, in a distance he hears a sound. A calling. It gets a little louder everytime. The calling, his name. A familiar sound, a familiar voice.  
"Hey Potter"   
For a split second he is back in the great hall with all the buzzing kids and the food and the smells. Then he hears it again "Hey Potter!" A few tables down a very familiar blonde git tries to get his attention like everyday before and everyday after that moment.

-"Hey Potter?" The sounds is right beside his ear this time. So near he can feel the warm breath on his cheek. He feels a gentle tap on the same cheek. Slowly but surely he descends back to his bedroom, back on his bed. He sees a silhoutte hovering over him and a few blinks later it sharpens up enough to be recognized as Malfoy. A strand of his long blonde hair escapes from behind his ear and tickles Harrys nose and he sneezes.   
"Ugh! Thanks" Malfoy scoffs wiping his face with the back of his hand. Harry regains the command over his body.  
"God I'm sorry" he stutters and tries to sit up but Malfoy pushes him back down to the bed by his shoulder.   
"Not so fast. You were just passed out" Malfoy pushes him gently down and leaves his hand on Harrys shoulder. He sits down beside Harry and they are completely still just staring at each other for awhile. What feels like forever is soon ended by Malfoys voice, a mere whisper.   
"So you really didn't recognize me?" he asks and looks at Harry with a mixture of intrigue and hurt in his eyes. Harry blushes all the way down to his navel an squeals first. The squeal is so silent Malfoy can't even hear it.   
"Yes, I had no idea"   
Malfoy looked away and sighed. Obviously hurt.   
"I.. I was hammered"   
Harry tries to comfort Malfoy. Why am I so embarresed by all this? Why do I pity Malfoy? Harry act totally on instinct and reaches for Malfoys face. Slowly and gently he runs his hand over his cheek.   
"Hey its okay" he whispers not sure where the sound comes from.  
Malfoy looks at him blue icy grey eyes filled with emotion and somthing inside Harry shifts. Without thinking at all he rise up a bit and kisses Malfoy.

The kiss is first all just Harry pushing his lips onto Malfoys. Malfoy trembles and Harry feels how tense he is. Slowly he relaxes a bit and parts his lips just enough for Harry to run the tip of his tounge along his lips. Malfoy cuts loose all the ties he has bounded around the matter and answers the kiss with such intenstity its Harrys turn to whimper by surprise.  
Everything Harry has ever build up around the fact that he was indeed in love with Draco in school melts away, crumbles and vanishes. He feels lighter and more alive. Like he can breathe freely again. Like he finally sees colours again. Like he found his way home. They kiss for what seems like a lifetime and they both know theyre just making up for all the lost opportunities in the past. With all his walls teared down Harry finally lets the flicker of a thought creep in the perifere of his focus and the realization is illuminating. All the bickering, shouting, rivalry at school wasnt acts of hate. They were indeed acts of love. 

They both break apart gasping for air, their lips all red and pulsating from the heat and the nibbling and teeth scrathing. They sit silent looking at anything but eachother for a while before getting the courage to address the elephant in the room.  
"God Draco, your hair!" is the first Harry can think of when he looks at Draco again. Draco blushes and smiles shyly.  
"When did that happen?" Harry asks and twirls a strand of the light silken wawes   
"Its so, so beautiful" he adds with a whisper that sends shivers down Dracos spine. All he ever wanted was for Harry to call him beautiful.  
"I just let it grow. And soon realised people didn't recognize me anymore. It felt liberating, after everything" Draco tells with a brutal honesty Harry cant help but admire. It all seems so easy now. To tell eachother anything, bare their souls.  
"What about the chic look then?" Harry asks a bit more catious, nervous where the conversation is going.  
"Actually, I havent done anything on purpose to look like a chic." Draco admits and chuckles.   
"The hair is quite girly I give you that but serioulsy Potter?" he smiles the most adorable smile harry has ever seen. Harry then realises something. Draco is a boy. A boy, a guy, bloke, dude. And Harry sure is not gay. Right?   
It's one thing to have this brocrush on a boy at school, right? But to truly, madly, deeply fall in love with said boy is another thing. Harry never gave much thought to what falling in love with Draco really ment. They could never be together anyway so why bother about what his sexuality was? He only really dated girls after school. Or ever. Then he realised something else. He only ever dated girls but he did look at some boys like that. Cedric for example. All the kindness and helping him with the triwizard champions was it really just being nice? And when Voldemort killed Cedric was the intense grief he felt the grief you feel after losing a friend or someone more important than that? Could it have been something more if Cedric would have lived? He really wished it could have been. That means he is not as straight as he thought.   
Apparently life is not as straight forward as he thought.

Harry doesnt know how to react to his sudden realisation about his sexuality. Then he suddenly remebers the night before. And what happened. The first time.   
"God" he turns white   
"Did we... did we do something? Anything?" he asks blushing not knowing where to look. He knows the answer but somehow need to hear it out loud to believe it really happened.   
"Well" Draco smirks.   
"I did suck that handsome cock of yours" he says and lets his gaze swipe over harrys crotch. Harry realises he is naked and hugs the bedcovers a bit tighter around him. Why is he so shy suddenly? So it really happened. It was not just a wet dream he had last night.   
"I... umm.. how did I take it?" he asks shyly, fearing Draco will laugh at him and tease him.  
"By the way you bucked into my throat I'd say you enjoyed it" Draco answers with a cocky smirk. Why is this so easy for Draco? Harry looks devastated. Dracos expression turns softer instantly, sensing this it not something to be joking about now. Harry looks down in his lap and says bearly audibly  
"But I didn't even know I like boys in that way"   
Draco panics a bit when he sees a single tear rolling down his cheek. He fumbles with his hands for a bit but after all the sudden emotional eruptions he can't let it slip, not again. So he takes Harrys face gently in his hands and whipes the tear away with his thumb.   
"Hey, its okay" Draco kisses him gently and softly. Harry kisses back.   
"See, it feels right. Who cares what that makes you" he pecks Harrys lips again and feels a small smile creep up Harrys face.   
"Thats better" 

Draco takes Harry in a sweet embrace, a tight hug.   
"Finally we got here"  
Harry seems a little confused so Draco explains.  
"As you may realise by now I have loved you ever since we first met at the robes shop. All I ever did at school was to make you notice me and understand how I felt about you. Just when I thought it started working our world came crumbling down and the war broke out. I had to make the hardest choice in my life, between you and my family. I sincerely thought we would never have a chance to be together so I chose my family, to be specific I chose my mum. The war tore everything apart and left me with nothing but heartache. I knew the next to nothing chance I had was gone forever so I cut the ties to all things magic but my mum and started over in the muggle world. Here noone knew who I was and it was liberating. I could find out who I wanted to be without the pressure of the family heritage I had to live up to. I came out as gay not long after that and even if it wasn't hard finding company nothing ever came close to what I felt for you. I buried it all deep inside me and tried to live on but then I saw you at the bar a few weeks ago. It all came back to me but after noticing how you took home a different girl every night I knew the small flicker of hope I never succeded to kill were blown out. So I fell into a void of darkness until the night you came up to me and wanted to dance with me. You took me home and I was extatic. Then I realised you did not recognize me but I just couldn't walk away. My stupid heart started beating again and hope crept back to my mind. I tried to stay away from the bar, to walk away from my newfound feelings for you but in the end I knew I was doomed. So I came back to the bar a few weeks later knowing you'd be there and I decided to let you take over. I saw you across the bar and let you decide wheter you wanted me or not. When you took me dancing again I knew I had to reveal to you who I really was but I couldn't do it. I was selfish and needed to feel your body against my one last time, to give you the satisfaction I hoped you would never forget. It was a brutal thing to do I know but I couldn't resist. So here we are".   
Harry is silent for an agonizing few minutes before he grabs Draco by the shoulders hard and kisses him a bit too violently for it to feel good. The kiss quickly softens and Draco can feel Harry relax and his muscles loosen up. He sighs deeply against his lips.  
"You have no idea how releving this is. I just denied everything from myself and took home all those girls to keep you out of my mind. Until you came along and busted down all the walls I built and all the emotions I supressed. It took me way too long to realise who I am and accept it. I'm so sorry I made you go trough all that shit without even realising how much I hurted you. I am so, so sorry for that". Harrys voice started to tremble and he swallowed loudly.  
"I love you Draco, I really do" he added and looked at the gorgeus boy with the haunting blue grey eyes that literary just saved his life.  
"I love you too Harry James Potter" Draco smiled and kissed Harry softly. How much could ones life change in the span of one night? Obviously it could do a 180 spin in a blink of an eye.   
Harry chuckles and brushes Dracos hair. He plays with it and just loves the way it feels in his hands.  
"Promise me you'll never cut this hair"  
"I promise" Draco says and kisses Harry again, this time with more intesity and passion. They feel whole, they are at home. And they lay down, kissing each other and caressing their bodies. Harry has a lot to explore and wants to waste no time getting to know the pulsating heat beneath him. And what pleasures another mans body may grant him. 

 

Epilogue  
____________

One year later Harrys friends are celebrating the birthday of a co-worker again, at the same bar he met Draco. They are there together, they have been dating almost a year and recently moved in together. Not in Harrys flat though, he felt it reminded him too much of a time of denial and fumbling in the dark. They made their own home in a light penthouse in a good neighbourhood and could not be happier. Most of Harrys friends know Draco and has taken him in so well. Every now and then they meet new poeple and their group expands and Harry always make sure to introduce the shyer Draco to everyone. He always says his name but since it is a rare name among muggles and Draco has kept his promise to Harry about not cutting his hair he is mistaken for a woman frequently. Harry finds this utterly amusing because he made the same mistake. After the initial embaressment though the whole thing turned out better than expected. He couldn't be happier with Draco by his side and is thinking about the perfect way to propose to him. 

"Hi guys!" Harry says followed by an awkward manhug.   
"And this is Draco" Draco holds out his hand and smiles shyly as Harry introduces him to two new co-workes. He does get quite nervous about meeting new people he know are going to be around in Harrys life.  
"It's a pleasure to meet you" he says while he shakes their hand one after the other and throws his glorious mane about. All the guys are always taken away by Dracos beautiful long hair and as Harry requested he let it down for the evening.   
"Wow, some hair you got there... erm.. Draco?" one of the co-workers chuckle as Harry takes him by the waist, as the protective boyfriend he is.  
" Yes, Draco. And thank you" Draco answers smiling and leans in to Harrys embrace just a tiny bit.  
"Shall we?" Harry asks the group and they head to the vip lounge reserved for their entourage for the evening.

They drink and have fun and joke about and everything and when the time draws near three am Draco is dancing with a few of the blokes he has befriended through Harry. They were the first to know about Harry and Draco and has been very supporting while Harry was coming to terms with his new identity. They soon became close and spend much time together anyway. The blokes helped Draco and Harry find their current home and helped them move in. That truly was an evening they will never forget and even if it has taken quite a bit of effort to get on the good side with the neighbours again, all the beer and pizza did not exactly keep them quiet and respectful of others privacy, it broke down the last bits of Harrys selfdoubt and shame for who he was. Now he feels reborn and proud to be who he is and love who he loves.

Harry sits by the bar with the new blokes and can't take his eyes off Draco who is spinned around by one of their friends, the long blonde hair twirling around him like an golden halo.  
He drinks his whiskey absentmindly when the other of the blokes call him.  
"Yeah?" Harry asks  
"So what do you think?"   
"Sorry, about what?" Harry stutters a bit having absolutely no idea what the others have been talking about.  
"You werent listening? Aah never mind then... what are you looking at anyway?" the bloke asks and looks at the direction Harry is staring. He sees Draco dancing and laughing the blonde hair swaying as he spins again.  
"Ahh I see" he whistles.   
"Your girl sure is one gorgeus goddess" he says and is utterly confused when Harry starts laughing his ass off.  
"What?" the bloke is embarressed wondering what he said wrong.  
"Yeah HE sure is a god" Harry says and laughs again at the look on both of the blokes faces.  
"It's okay" Harry continues as the blokes mouths are open and eyes wide of confusion.  
"I thought he was a girl the first time I met him too" The blokes look at harry with questions written all over their faces.   
"I didnt know" one of them stutterts "That you... I didnt know you were gay"  
"Bisexual." Harry corrects him.   
"Neither did I" harry chuckles and looks at Draco dancing like he did the day they met again.   
"Until I fell for him over there... and if loving him makes me queer, then I guess I am queer" he adds more to himself than the others. He takes a sip of his whisky and adds quiet this time certainly for himself   
"And its the best thing thats ever happened to me"

 

Fin

**Author's Note:**

> So, yeah, first fic I ever completed. Hopefully not the last!  
> All messing up is on me, of course I chose to write in my like third language.  
> Hope you liked it, I may keep 'em coming.  
> Cheers mate!


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